It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize