I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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