Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
