they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
nutella sex= disaster
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
