He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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