if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
