True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dignity is for republicans.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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