i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if only i could text you this smell
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
