you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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