Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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