We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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