its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
