Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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