Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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