I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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