dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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