I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
