Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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