you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize