don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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