i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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