I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
