Where is the hickey?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
