My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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