Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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