You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
