I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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