don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
