420 ftw
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize