the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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