Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
