Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because Iβm single and itβs valentines Day...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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