well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
