# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
