She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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