We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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