remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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