Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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