just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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