what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
