Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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