If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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