I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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