I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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