Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
