I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
