C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
