He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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