the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if only i could text you this smell
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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