you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
