so that wasnt chicken after all
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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