he puts the penis in happiness.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
