I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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