I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
