how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
