If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So much rum. So many feels.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
