It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
