I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
