Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She told me I should be a condom model.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need to calm my uterus...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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