I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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